I want to talk about the immense pressure we can put on ourselves. It can be relentless and i’m really feeling it this month. Have I set myself unrealistic targets and goals? Maybe. Due to Jewish festivals, which are so lovely and bring the family and community together, it also means that it’s been several short working weeks. And because my choice has always been to work from home as flexibly as possible, the childcare buck mostly stops with me.

This was fine when I wasn’t trying to grow a business. However from September I told myself this was ‘my time’ to get my head down and really make a go of things with my coaching. All summer I was building up to this ‘big’ career moment and couldn’t wait for get my teeth into properly working again. However, what I didn’t factor in and what I needed to do was: set realistic and manageable goals. Actions that weren’t going to make me feel that I’m not achieving enough, that weren’t going to inflict analysis paralysis or take me into comparison mode.

The reality is from September I had one child begin Reception and another child begin secondary school. MASSIVE milestones which come with huge adjustments. Like everyone else, I have other kids with their own hurdles to face who need me emotionally present. And while I’m on a roll, after several vet visits, Ive discovered the dog now has 24 different allergies 😬. The never-ending domestic and logistical demands that come with a big family simply don’t go away because I’ve decided to ‘make a go of my career’.

I’ve recognised that I’ve felt more stressed than normal, hyper-critical of myself and probably not very nice to live with. Despite achieving small milestones and being happy with those, I’ve been after the big win when realistically I’m heading up two demanding teams: a family of six and my own business. I’m very quick to remind other people to be more self-compassionate, show themselves kindness, patience and empathy, but when it’s to myself, not so easy.

So my mantra for the next month is: stop doing 10 things badly and focus on one or two things positively. Allow myself more time to pause, breathe, reflect and have some fun. I know it’s not a race, it’s a journey. I will get there but in my own time. And if it’s the right thing for me, it’s always going to be there. I’d love to hear if there are any other women out there struggling to find a balance between their ambition and the reality of having a busy family?